LOST: My sanity. Last Seen in Crazytown on the Corner of Running Cir. and Endofthe Rd. Reward Offered.

"Momma, I think we're out of propane. The water's freezing."
Shit! See what this marital unbliss will do for you.
"Ok..no big deal. You won't die without a shower for one day."

"Momma, I forgot to do my oral math. We have to do it now."
"Sis...we have to leave in 2 minutes so you won't be late."
"But, Momma...."
"Fine, bring me the timer."

"Momma, I want gwaby and nonuts to eat. Go to the nonut store."
Finally, something easy.

"No, Grandpa. I don't think I'll be bringing Edie into town today. Of course I'll do your taxes again. No big deal. What kind of form? I'm sure we can take care of the homestead exemption too. I'll get there sometime this week."

Aristotle and migration transition. Civil liberties and Piaget.
Damn. I have to finish that paper. My culture...hmmm...does she really want the description I'm about to give? Maybe I'll get back to that one later.

Doll house and cooking plastic noodles. Care Bears and Cows that Type.

Oh..look...Edie's learned to unscrew the lid on her cup. Chocolate milk goes nicely with Winnie the Pooh sheets. Guess naptime's over. But I can't be mad. She learned to turn the lid. It's amazing.

"Momma, you won't believe this. Kaelynn and Cheyenne aren't friends anymore. They've been friends, like, their whole life and now they're not. Kaelynn is going out with this boy and Cheyenne has always hated him so she won't be Kaelynn's friend anymore. That's what she says. I think they'll be friends again though."
"I'm sure they will, Avery. They're nine. Going out with a boy gets boring pretty quickly when you're nine."
"I know. That's why Cheyenne's mad. Because she doesn't go out with boys, like, ever; and she says she won't until she's in like 5th grade or something."
"Hmmmmm."

"Sherry, do you mind if Ciera rides with Kacey to cardio practice today? I'm swamped with homework and really haven't accomplished anything today. Ok..we'll be right over."

"Momma! I forgot my water. You better stop at the store."

"Ken..can you pick Ciera up at Sherry's on your way home from work?"

Damn. The telephone again. I'll never finish this paper. I should try more than 20 minutes at a time.
"Yes. Ciera should be back from practice by now. It's been over for an hour and a half now. Yes. I told her you were coming. I'll call her."

"Ok..I figured you stopped at Wal-Mart or something. Ok..he's there waiting. Thanks again."

"Dinner? Oh, damn. It is that time already. Sorry, I was trying to finish up that paper. I laid out pork chops.....Well, that's fine too. Call it in."

"Momma, I need some duct tape and light bulbs."
"Are you building a bomb?"
"No. My desk lamp's burned out and I wanna try to make a wallet out of the duct tape."
At least she's not building a bomb.

And that fucking Adam STILL didn't get kicked off The Amazing Race. I swear...I'd slap the hell out that little bitch.

"Come in. I'm waxing my eyebrows. No it's not candle wax, dear. That's because I usually have time to do it when nobody's here. No, it doesn't hurt. Want me to do yours?"

Baths and teeth. Stuffed dogs and cups of milk.
"Yes, you can have some strawberry soda but just a little."

Snoring from the sofa's direction. A still yet unfinished description of my culture. Freshly groomed eybrows and a new coat of waitress-red polish.

And these are the highlights of my day???

LOST: My Sanity......