I'm Too Tired to Think of a Catchy Little Title, So Shutup and Read

Thursday, February 3, 6:30 am: Woke up and began the daily grind.

2:30 pm: Picked up girls from school and did all the "after-school" stuff.

6:00 pm: Took a Sociology exam (and got an A).

8:00 pm: Bedtime stuff

10:00 pm Opened a beer, talked with husband, watched the news, opened a 2nd beer

Midnight: Began extremely hot, extremely relaxing shower.

Friday, February 4

12:30 am: Exited aforementioned shower, wrapped towel around me, checked on girls, went to refrigerator for beer

12:33 am: Telephone rings and conversation as follows:
Strange Male Voice: May I speak to Holly, please?

Me: This is Holly.

Strange Male Voice: Holly, this is Officer Miller with the Tulsa Police department. I'm here with your sister, D. She has asked that we call to see if you will come get her car. We'll be taking her in on a DUI.

Me: Is she ok?

Officer Miller: Well, aside from the puking, she seems fine. It seems she fell asleep at the intersection a couple of miles back. Someone tried to wake her and she took off and ended up in this little grassy field next to a parking lot.

Me: But I can come get her car?

Officer Miller: Well, yeah. It seems she was coming from her bridal shower, I guess?

Me: *pause, pause* Oh...yes.

Officer Miller: Well, she has a car full of presents and we really don't want to have to tow it if we don't have to.

Me: Well, ok..but here's the thing: I'm 45 miles away.

Officer Miller: *chuckles* Really? Well do you know anyone closer that can come get it?

Me: I'll make some calls. Do you have a number where I can reach you?

Officer Miller: Just call me on your sister's phone.

12:40 am: I call all appropriate family members. Those that answer are no closer than I. I call B because I know he's the only other person that is probably coming from the bar and maybe in the vicinity. He's as drunk as she is. I tell him not to worry. I'll figure out something. He says he'll go. He'll be fine. I told him I would meet him at my sister's house and take him back to get his car.

12:45 am: Get dressed, smoke a cigarette. Call and break the news to Mom.

1:00 am: Leave for Tulsa

2:00 am: Finally rouse B from the passed out state at my sister's house so we can go get his car. Follow him to get gas and back home as he is drunk and I was a little concerned.

3:00 am: Home, talking to husband about the events and what I should do in the morning.

3:05 am: Sister calls. Says, "Come get me. They're letting me go. They dropped it to "actual physical control" because I wasn't driving."

3:10 am: Pick up B to go with me because I have no idea about how to handle these things or where to go. And it's a little scary downtown when you're a woman all alone at 4 am.

3:40 am: Arrive at the David L. Moss Correctional Center. 45 minutes later am informed they don't know why she called because she can't be released until someone posts the $500 bond. Realize this is a problem because the bank only allows $300 cash withdrawal in a 24 hour period. Informed that sister will have to stay at least 48 hours if no bond posted and she does not qualify to be released under New Day policy.

4:45 am: Go back to sisters house to make calls and confer with mother. Call baby sister to see if she has cash available. She's broke. Call several bondsmen and jail trying to work out a plan. Decide I can't spend the $100 on the bondsmen without her permission. Decide best course of action is to wait until bank opens at 8. Leave B snoring on couch and return home.

6:30 am: Arrive home 30 seconds before girls alarm clock wakes them.

6:40 am: Call jail to try to convince them to release sister under New Day Policy. Reached a very charming man who just happened to be a former police officer in this tiny little town where I live. Said he didn't see why they couldn't make the exception. She's never been arrested before. He'd get one of the counselor's on it.

7:00 am: Call from sister and New Day counselor. They are going to release her under the policy with no bond. She has begun to process out and should be ready for pick up within the half hour. Call B and ask him to go get her. He agrees after only a few profanities.

7:30 am: Drop girls at school. Husband drives me to sister's house because my eyes are becoming very heavy.

8:00 am: Arrive at sisters. No B, no sister.

8:30 am: Call B. Says they told him an hour ago that she should be ready momentarily.

9:00 am: B decides to come back to sisters and sleep some more and she can just call when she's out.

10:00 am: Sister calls. She's out. She needs a fucking coat and a fucking cigarette.

12:30 pm: Husband brings car to me on his lunch break. Baby sister arrives to transport Edie to Mom's. I take B home to shower and get his car so he can go pick up his kids from school.

1:15 pm: Arrive home. Start blogging to stay awake until I have to pick up oldest child from school at 2:40.

Now..just to clarify a few things:

1. I haven't slept in over 31 hours.
2. My sister did not have a bridal shower because no one is going to marry her dumb ass. Turns out she had picked up her down comforter from the cleaners and went to Wal-Mart for a crock pot, new vacuum cleaner, and mini-blinds before the drinking extravaganza. She was drunk and didn't know what else to say when they asked her why she had all that stuff in her car.
3. My only contact with law enforcement or their institutions has been receiving and paying speeding tickets. I was a little out of my element on this whole thing.
4. I was wearing my pajamas for every bit of this.
5. Did I mention I haven't slept?
6. Next time someone I know and/or love goes to jail, they should not call me. I will let them rot there.
7. Yes, sister dear, this is why they say I'm the good one and not you.
8. I now have to go BACK to Tulsa for the 4th time in 18 hours and sit through a soccer game this evening. I have no time for a nap between now and then. Did I say how freakin' tired I am?

It seems she has no recollection of parking her car in the grassy area. She just knows that she was sleeping until the officer opened the door and she fell out on him. She doesn't remember much more than that until she began puking ON the officer because the handcuffs were throwing her off balance and making her sick. She has a really good recollection of the officers calling for the "paddy wagon" because none of them wanted her puking in their cars.

She has hilarious stories to tell this morning. If I weren't so fucking tired, I'd probably laugh.