I May Have Figured It Out

I think that maybe this really is not my life. I may be living in the hell that is my ex-husband's world. And trust me when I say it's a whole different world. Jeremy...YOU NEED MEDS!! It's ok that I said that. Even if he were reading this, which he's not, he still wouldn't get it. Fucking idiot. (Yeah, I said it...so?)

Ahhhhhhhh!!!!

Jeremy is the BIGGEST idiot in the entire world. That's all I can say about it right now. I'm too pissed to rant about it.

Mmmmmm....

Bud Light

You've Got To Be Kidding

So..I'm checking emails and thought I'd take a look at my horoscope over on Yahoo. Here's what I get:

Quickie:
New clothes have gotten so spendy and drab. Thrift stores have one-of-a-kind finds.

Overview:
This is your life, so don't waste time and don't let pride get in your way. Say what you mean and mean what you say, and you'll start really getting things done.

Now, I ask you--WHAT THE HELL IS THAT? I'm a Leo for God's sake. Not Horton the Elephant. First of all, the sentence following the word "quickie" does not usually include the "thrift stores". (Unless maybe there's a bathroom in the back, I guess.) Secondly..I think I've already made it clear--THIS IS NOT MY LIFE!!

Hmmmm....6:28 a.m. I can't sleep. The baby woke up for a bottle. She went back to sleep. Ken went back to sleep. I had to freakin pee of course and now I can't sleep. Damn it!

Told You So

Like I said, I'm back tonight. After reading that last post I thought I should clarify that Sister #1 isn't really a dumbass, per se. She's just a little neurotic. Sister #2...hmmm..DUMBASS. Sister #3...neurotic and wallowing in her psychosis. These are all matters of opinion, of course. But I think fairly highly of my own opinion. Classic Leo.
I know that everyone in the world probably believes that they are the only sane person in the world, but I am collecting actual proof of that on a daily basis. Right now my husband is bitching because I won't let him read this over my shoulder. Sister #3 is crying about how horrible her life is. (She's 18.) My best friend is teetering on the edge of Breakdown Canyon. Well..actually she may have slipped over the edge but she's hanging on to that branch that always sticks off the side of any cliff that someone falls over in the movies. My mother...well..that's a whole post in itself. (Or 2 or 10) I could go on but the insanity just gets overwhelming.
I'm starting to realize that I may be paying for my younger days of wild, irresponsible behavior. And when I say "younger", I mean before I was 30. Fate is a cruel, cruel bitch; isn't she?

Couldn't Resist

So...Jill just goes on and on about this blog stuff so I thought I'd try it out. Actually, I read hers and was jealous that she had this great place to rant. I'm always looking for a new place to rant so it works out pretty well. Hmmm..where to start....Oh-I know. The title.."This Is Not My Life"...is kind of my motto by default. I've always been sure that I was destined for something much more glam than what I'm actually living. Sure, it's a little dramatic, but it has kept me sane through a lot of bullshit. For the most part it is only uttered through gritted teeth and crocodile tears while I'm head down under a bathtub faucet in an effort to curb drunken stupidity. I THINK it a lot though. Like when it's 2 a.m. and one of my children is puking and the other is screaming that I need to make her shutup because it's 2 a.m. and she's not getting any sleep. Or when my checking account is overdrawn by more money than I'll have next week and there's no milk in the refrigerator. (Or beer for that matter)
I guess I can at least list the major players in my life so that any poor sole that finds themselves even half interested in my life will know what's what.
Ken--husband, usually a good one
Jeremy--ex husband, usually a bad one
Jill--best friend, always the best
I have 3 daughters but will spare them the embarrassment of mentioning them by name.
Also 3 sisters but will probably assign many various aliases for them according to the extent of the dumbass behavior or my surprise as to the lack thereof.
I'll have to spend some time deciding what I want to rant about first and I have to finish dinner so I'm off to mill that over for a while.
(Jill was right...I bet I'm back before the night is over)