You've Got To Be Kidding

So..I'm checking emails and thought I'd take a look at my horoscope over on Yahoo. Here's what I get:

Quickie:
New clothes have gotten so spendy and drab. Thrift stores have one-of-a-kind finds.

Overview:
This is your life, so don't waste time and don't let pride get in your way. Say what you mean and mean what you say, and you'll start really getting things done.

Now, I ask you--WHAT THE HELL IS THAT? I'm a Leo for God's sake. Not Horton the Elephant. First of all, the sentence following the word "quickie" does not usually include the "thrift stores". (Unless maybe there's a bathroom in the back, I guess.) Secondly..I think I've already made it clear--THIS IS NOT MY LIFE!!