Now That Hell Has Frozen Over

Wow. I never really knew that a harmless liquid such as H2O, when changed to a solid, could actually cause insanity in otherwise sane people. However, I have witnessed such results over the past 6 days and it is quite real.
We have had an ice storm of epic proportions here in the Bible Belt. It's been an interesting week. I have no trees left. I have electricity now, which is more than I can say for 90% of the people I am in contact with on a regular basis.
You know what I'm most excited about though is the monkeys that will be flying out of people's asses and the pigs with wings. Oh..and don't forget all of the things that I will finally get to do now that hell has clearly frozen over. All of those in my life that have sworn that they are living in hell.....I'm calling you out. I suspect that I will get to see some really interesting events. Some of you will have to have more children. Some of you will have to have sex with people that repulse you. Some of you will have to eat liver and onions. I'm going to start making a list of all of those things I can remember that people were going to do when hell froze over. Be prepared when I come knocking on your door....