If You Only Remember One, Remember This One

I hate when something happens and pushes me into that "what am I doing here?" mode. Especially when it's something little. I shouldn't be so pissed, but I am. And I want to be. I don't need anyone else to define my boundaries, my values, my responsibilities. The adjective is "my" for a reason. You shouldn't sit on your high horse looking down when you've forgotten about the pile of discarded values and responsibilities you've climbed to reach that horse. I KNOW what I am. And, yes, I know that I am only the sum of what others perceive me to be. But you are not "others." You are barely you. Do you KNOW what you are? Do you even know how others perceive you? Why are you afraid to say that you were attracted to my intelligence or my confidence? What are you afraid that I might gain? I'm glad you liked my smile, but didn't you eventually look behind it? You know what responsible grown-ups do. Tell me, isn't that a grown-up thing? Shouldn't you look past the cover and read the book? There was a time that you loved my intuition. Didn't you know that it would come to include you? Didn't you know that I would know your thoughts before you thought them? Don't criticize me for being everything that I promised I would be.

There's Nothing Like a Meat Shower

Finally...a day that I've accomplished something. The holiday season just wears me out. I've chauffered, cleaned, shopped, and remitted appropriate payments. I've made calls, returned calls and waited for calls to be returned. I've written and read emails. I've read books, eaten fake fried eggs and fed Care Bears. I'd say it's been a pretty good day.

I read a joke today that really kind of sums up my frame of mind. I thought a few of you might enjoy it too:

Three mice are sitting in a bar in a pretty rough neighborhood late at night trying to impress each other about how tough they are. The first mouse slams a shot of scotch, and pounds the shot glass to the bar, turns to the second mouse and says: "When I see a mousetrap, I get on it, lie on my back, and set it off with my foot. When the bar comes down, I catch it in my teeth, and then bench press it 100 times."

The second mouse orders up two shots of tequila. He grabs one in each paw, slams the shots, and pounds the glasses to the bar. He turns to the other mice and replies: "Yeah, well when I see rat poison, I collect as much as I can and take it home. In the morning, I grind it up into a powder and put it in my coffee so I get a good buzz going for the rest of the day."

The first mouse and the second mouse then turn to the third mouse. The third mouse lets out a long sigh and says to the first two, "I don't have time for this bullshit. I gotta go home and fuck the cat."